Naked Celebrities, Suits in Tatters and a Bad Tattoo

Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence, at the centre of the latest scandal

The big international story of the day is the news that naked photographs of hundreds of celebrities have been leaked online and, surprise surprise, have spread like wildfire. Whilst one has to hold contempt for the person who has done this, I can only shake my head in disbelief at the naive celebrities who are happy to pose naked, film themselves having sex, then cry foul, when the photos go pubic. The photos including apparently topless shots of Hunger Games star, Jennifer Lawrence have swept round the internet. Some of the stars have confirmed that they photos are real, some have said they are photoshopped and others claimed they were “deleted” from their computers, but someone has found a way to get them back and show them.

Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton, star of one of the most notorious secret videos of all time

Has nobody learned anything in the years since the Paris Hilton Scandal? And it wasn’t new then! It doesn’t matter how secure you think your relationship is, things change. It doesn’t matter how secure you think your computer is, it isn’t. People can act in astonishingly nasty ways when relationships turn sour. Stories of cheating husband’s having all their clothes cut to ribbons have been around since the days of Baron Bonk, in the 80s. Sir Peter Graham Noone’s philandering, hit the headlines when his first wife Sarah discovered his affair with a younger woman. Lady Sarah cut just one sleeve from each of his 32 Savile Row suits,and said, “He only needs one arm for what he does best.”

I knew Sir Peter when I lived in Bangkok, he was an occasional visitor to my bar. He first introduced himself with the classic line, “ I am Sir Peter Graham Noone, a Knight of Her Majesty’s Realm, though I never use it.” To which I replied, “I think you’ll find you just did.” He was a larger than life character and revelled in the notoriety that his ex wife had given him.

A few years back, a story emerged of tattoo artist, Ryan Fitzgerald who was being sued by his girlfriend, Rossie Brovent in America. Finding out that she was cheating, he kept his council and when she asked him to tattoo a scene from Nania on her back, he lovingly tattooed an in image a a large steaming pile of excrement surrounded by flies. What a charmer! And here’s the catch, she signed a release form in advance given him full artistic licence.

Turd Tattoo
The Offending Tattoo

All these stories have one thing in common, they started out as happy affairs of the heart. People should wake up to the fact that sometimes things go wrong, sometimes you think you know a person’s character, but you don’t. Sometimes, filming yourself having sex, will appear on the internet if you decide to stop having sex with that person and start having it with someone else. The heart is a funny old thing, and affairs of it are notoriously unpredictable.

And so to the naked celebrities, there is a simple way of course of preventing this ever happening to you. Keep your kit on! If you are happy enough to fling your clothes off and be photographed, you should assume that they are going to be seen. If you don’t want them seen, why do the photo shoot?

People, when scorned can resort to pretty nasty behaviour. It is worth remembering the next time you are rolling round a hotel room, naked with your iPad working overtime.